Sometimes

Sometimes I get this weird feeling, my heart starts racing even though I'm doing nothing, watching nothing, listening to nothing, reading nothing, thinking of nothing to illicit it. It's a nervous feeling, but not a bad way> I guess it's like an adrenaline rush, like if you were about to perform on stage or talk to someone you have a crush on. I wonder what causes it, maybe I just need to spend more energy, exercise more.

Speaking of which, I need to eat better, I've wanted to lose my flabbiness for aaaages, like since I noticed I was fat in the 7thgrade or so (I seriously thought that somehow, magically, the fat on my stomach would migrate into a nice pair of c cups or something when I was in elementary school). Realistically though, I won't eat right over Christmas break because, come on it's the holidays. I read through all my aunt's InStyle magazines last night trying to keep myself amused after thanksgiving dinner and now I have visions of fabulousness dancing in my head. I went shopping today (Black Friday aah) for myself and it wasn't so bad. I spent far too much money though (about $80 for 2 jackets, a shirt, and a pair of shoes..oh and a necklace i'll give my mom as a stocking stuffer)

The house is really quite lonely without my dad. I don't know how my mom does it, I know she's really sad and stressed but she keeps on trucking. I think she's really the strongest of us all. I'm going to get her a lot of Christmas gifts :p As soon as I get my job at PacSun back for the winter break. I had a weird dream the night before last, we were at another memorial service for my dad but this time it was in something like a high school cafeteria with the stage and fold-out chairs, there were a lot of people there and it was like a big production. The funeral home had somehow reanimated my dad's body so that he could walk around the memorial service and talk. He thanked all the production people, and I'm not sure if he was heading over to my family (we were in the middle of the auditorium space) and I was hoping he didn't because I knew it was really just a robot. In my dream I started thinking about what I would say when I had to get up to make a speech about my dad's life, the train of thought somehow continued into consciousness and I woke up already crying. aaand that was that

I applied for the Prague study abroad program today, I hope I can find enough money to go, I really want the experience, but first I need to wrap up this semester. It's stunning how much needs to get done in one week's time.

Oh and here's some media:

Robbie sent it to the design kids, I think it's a pretty nifty effect, I wonder what other falling things it could work on, I can't think of anything for real life, just movie application, but editting tricks would be easier to use than lighting.