circumlocution

note to self

2010-05-08T19:47:00.000-05:00

look at austin like it's a foreign city

pictures and interviews with strangers

Giant LA Post

2010-03-19T22:38:00.021-05:00

So I failed to microblog my LA trip through twitter, so I guess I should do a REAL blog post about it. You will notice how much food I devoured over these 8 days. My stomach will be full for days (but probably not, I like food too much ;p) I also failed to take many photos myself sooo this post will have other people's pictures :p pretend they are from my trip.

Day 1: Thursday the 11th
Got to the airport around 4 in the morning since my mom had an earlier flight than me. Found out my plane was going to be practically completely occupied by the Star Steppers, my high school's drill team. Arrived in LAX with a terribly full bladder. Had an awful time while the airplane drove along LAX's vast amounts of tarmac for like half an hour before getting to our gate.
Ross gave me some floooowers at baggage claim :). We then went on a walking quest for some crepe place that we just could not find. So we got some food at a place called Manny's. I got a hamburger but what I was REALLY excited about was the Horchata, which I'd never really tried before but it is soo delicious :Q. mmmm.

Next we just went back to nap. I was pretty beat from only having an hour nap before going to the airport at 4 in the morning. Then we took a trip to Hollywood and Highland. There were all these women dressed as Flo from Progressive for some event. There were so many the people who hired them must have run out of brown haired blue eyed white girls because there were black Flos and asian Flos too. We saw one of Ross's friends from his internship who is now interning with Jimmy Kimmel. After wandering around to some of the shops we went back to get dinner. We got a nice Italian dinner with Mark at a place called Spumoni's. It was especially awesome because they gave a complimentary tiramisu for dessert :)
THEN we went to the Upright Citizen's Brigade Theatre (first of 3 times) to see Chelsea Peretti's instructions on How to Live.
The best part of her intro was when she showed picture after picture of dogs eating ice cream. Here, let me help you pretend you were there:

Awesome! Now it's practically like you saw the performance too! Except without out the jokes and the other pictures and the other parts of the show.
Then there were guests. Guests like 2 LA comics for a panel of ass eating, another comic who pretended to be a gangsta, and then the dude from I Love You Beth Cooper and the new girl on SNL.
Then we were going to help Ross's friend shoot a part of a film buut we found out the place was like an hour away so that plan fell through.

Day 2: Friday the 12th
Ross had to work for a few hours in the afternoon so I wanted to go down to Union Station on the Metro to get a week pass for all the buses and subways and jazz. BUT La's Metro is fucking retarded. Turns out if you want a week pass, you have to ask for it a week before you want it to be valid. This is told no where on the website and is also an awful business plan. So we were at Union Station and couldn't do what we went there to do so I wanted to see what was around the station. And Ross wanted to find somewhere to eat lunch. We found this awesome little open air Mexican market.

That picture is actually from the market we were at, though I didn't see and dancers. There were musicians though which was annoying because if they played near you, even uninvited, they expected tips. We got some delicious authentic tacos and taquitos and HORCHATA! mm and headed back to Universal City.
After Ross got back from work we began watching Dumb & Dumber with Mark.

I hadn't ever watched it before because I was afraid it would be like Dumb & Dumberer which I saw in middle school and thought it was completely stupid and not funny. Buuut Dumb & Dumber surprised me, I thought it was really good.
In the middle of the movie we had to go catch our reservation at the happy hour at a fancy Japanese BBQ place down the street. It was the beginning of a festival of some sort so we got way cheap Filet Mignon and $5 sake. If you didn't know, at these types of places there's a grill in the middle of the table and they bring your meat out raw.
Since it was happy hour a bunch of other food and alcohol was way cheaper than usual. At first I was disappointed at the $15 minimum, but it was definitely worth it and at the end we got 2 s'mores dishes on the house!
We then went home to watch the rest of the movie. They put on Mr. Show after that but I fell sleep.

Day 3: Saturday the 13th
Woke up and got breakfast from a place called Crave. Ross got a giant breakfast burrito and I got eggs, hashbrowns, and pancakes.
We then went to check out the snazzy shopping center The Grove.

It is definitely what the Domain is trying to be. It was really busy though and there was some event going on in the center.

This dude was doin' some arts. We got free monster and izzi juice. There was also a really cute farmer's market there.
Next on the agenda was a fantastic trip to the gigantic museum The Getty.
The place is HUGE we were there for a long time and probably saw less than a fourth of the stuff there.We saw a cool exhibition on 12th-16thish illustrated books that ranged in subjects from arithmetic to astrology to psychology to secrets of rulers to magic to decorated horse bridles. I especially liked the books of secrets and the illustrations of the horse bridles were fantastic.
After being very cultured and looking at masterpieces of art and artifacts of culture, we decided to do a 180 and eat dinner at In 'n' Out since I'd never had before and it's got quite the hype around it.

That's an actual photo from our trip.

Day 4: Sunday the 14th
Today I insisted on going to the Museum of Contemporary Art. They didn't have any specific exhibitions going on, instead they were having a showcase of their first 30 years. It was pretty damn sweet. The exhibition was split into to 2 buildings and it was pretty much a recap of my art history class last semester. We saaaw

Pollock!

Rauschenburg!

Stella!

Flavin!

Basquait!

Koons!

Contemporary Artists!

This creepy Christmas installation!
And many more!
After that Ross got some coffee at Starbucks and I got some yummy froyo from Yogurtland in the Little Tokyo district.

That's what I look like when I eat Yogurt.

Cherry Blossoms in Little Tokyo! :p
Next we had to get going to a Curb Your Enthusiasm panel as a part of Paleyfest. Ross had been trying to get rid of the tickets so we could help Pierre Bernard with a video shoot, but it didn't happen so we went to the panel.

It was fun and I'm glad we went even though I don't really watch the show since I don't get HBO.

Day 5: Monday the 15th
Beach Day!
We went to Santa Monica Beach! It was very relaxing to sit in the sand and read and nap. We didn't swim because it was a bit cold, but we walked around on the beach and the pier. I bought some postcards and we headed back on the REALLY long bus ride. And we got Subway between transferring buses. We were so tired when we got back we crashed at like 10pm and slept through till the morning.

Day 6: Tuesday the 16th
Ross started his fulltime job Tuesday so I was on my own till 5. I had wanted to explore the city on my own and take some photos. I paid for the bus fare to the metro station and a day pass for the metro. But on my first train ride some super creepy old man (like really old man) was like, asking me if he could follow me to wherever I was going and take me to a movie before I left LA *puke*.
I was so uncomfortable I hopped off the train at the next stop, MacArthur Park and Westlake. This area was heavily Hispanic. There was a nice little park with a fountain.

After walking around the park and being kinda bored I walked around the streets there. The streets were lined with little shops selling all sorts of bags and stuff, it reminded me of the Vietnamese market in Prague.

That's from google streetview to give an idea. I didn't feel like I should take pictures, and I didn't want to test it for fear of conflict. I was getting cat called and shit and it was really uncomfortable. It really fucking sucks when someone(a female in most cases) can't even feel safe walking in public because of idiot cat callers. I decided to just go back to the apartment. On the way back some nice man gave up his seat to me (and also gave up his seat every time another woman got on the train). Next to the seat some guy started talking to me, not very annoying or creepy but just asking me about school and shit and he was my age so it wasn't creepy like the old dude. But the guy who gave up his seat to me called the kid out, asking him why he was so inquisitive. I think that really embarrassed him.
I got back and started making a hoooome cooked meal.
Theeeen Comedy Death Ray!

I was muy muy bueno. The Special guest was Russell Brand. (Ross thought it might be Conan but nooope)

Day 7: Wednesday the 17th
Shopping. Fancy Dinner! An Education, Spuds and Gilligan

Day 8: Thursday the 18th
Last Day :( Hollywood and Highland. Hot Dogs. Jimmy's Show. In n Out again.

Day 8.5: Flight home on Friday

another dog thing

2009-11-12T17:03:00.001-06:00

This is so heart warming :3

images from my morning

2009-11-12T11:58:00.004-06:00

I want to make a t-shirt out of this.

Borofsky's Man in Space #2

Also, today's Daily Puppy is unbearable cute.

http://www.dailypuppy.com/puppies/frank-the-dachshund_2009-11-12

My Green Crocodile

2009-08-01T22:07:00.001-05:00

Ross is much better at google-fu than me and found the video I was looking for originally! yaaaaaaaaaaay

Video Dump Inc

2009-07-30T22:35:00.006-05:00

Discovering a love for Russian illustration and animation. Some of the illustrations are in the post before. I started looking for an animation that the Drafthouse showed before 500 Days of Summer, but I can't find it anywhere. It was called either Blue Alligator or Blue Crocodile or something. Instead I first found this:

Then started watching these:

I didn't watch them all all the way through though

The claymation in this one is incredibly impressive (imo)

Image Dump Inc

2009-07-30T21:59:00.004-05:00

http://pingmag.jp/2006/06/02/how-japanese-style-illustration-works/
http://www.lostateminor.com/tag/japanese-illustrators/
http://riowang.blogspot.com/2008/04/educational-film.html

I should draw more.

Happy 4th!

2009-07-05T19:12:00.002-05:00

..a day late, but this was the featured youtube video on my igoogle and I thought it was pretty neat.

Just noticed my youtube still thinks I'm Czech, I wonder how to change it. Speaking of I should probably blog about my trip while it's still fresh on my mind...we'll see

under par

2009-05-15T16:20:00.013-05:00

so i'm still kinda upset I have to redo my design portfolio. I get to be a junior and everything but it's really knocked me down a peg. I agree with the professor's criticisms. It was clunky and inaccessible and the craftsmanship was embarrassing. I'm sure that in the end I'll appreciate the chance at a redo as a great learning experience. It is kind of intimidating though. I have to make an appointment with Gloria for another review at the end of the summer so I feel the second one has to be absolutely perfect.

Apparently there's some sort of design class in the communications school that made us Prague travel books. I think i was one of the first people to get a pick so I really like mine. It's small and pretty well designed. Most of the books were bound way better than I've done and it showed me the importance of perfect craftmanship :O

I plan to step up all my design work next year :}

fuzzy badly-lit pictures of my failed portfolio:

todo

2009-04-26T19:30:00.003-05:00

Ok I need to remember to do this, so I'm putting it in a blogpost instead of writing it somewhere i won't see again

-explore the transitions, aesthetic values, and merits of the shifts between modernism, post-modernism, and our current shift back to simplicity and clarity, the battle between ornament and simplicity.
-remember websites that were big in the early 2000s that were used for fun and exploring, rather than simply spitting out information (kind of like robbie's final website for design history)
http://designhistorylab.com/students/polk/
http://www.thedollpalace.com/ (memories)
[also good-bye geocities! ;( )
-combine that and clean, simple, informative design (website)
-make it 3-d

Texas Conservative Outcry in 3...2...1...

2009-04-23T00:23:00.002-05:00

Seems like a step in the right direction to me!

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/22/plan.b.age/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

"Planned Parenthood Federation of America President Cecile Richards said in a statement that the FDA's announcement is 'a strong statement to American women that their health comes before politics. And that's the way it should be. This decision is common-sense policy that will help reduce the number of unintended pregnancies and protect the health and safety of all women.' "

Cellphone Caprice

2009-04-02T18:10:00.001-05:00

This was my spotlight youtube video today on my iGoogle (and probably on youtube's front page too, but whatever) and I thought it was fabulous

soooooo

check it out :}

Let's Do the Time warp Again

2009-03-10T11:59:00.005-05:00

Blah dear lord I need t update more often. I always think of something to write about but then I don't because I do other things instead. So, I'm going to crank this even though i should go to bed because Daylight Savings has totally fucked with my sleep schedule. I'm going to try to remember everything I've wanted to post about, even if its not relevant anymore and go backwards since its prolly easier that way.

First things first, tonight I saw Demetri Martin live. It was really funny, I was laughing nearly nonstop for an hour and a half and my face started to hurt.

I got to go up front and take photographs through a press pass wish Ross generously gave me. I had waited in line starting at 4 in the morning to get a ticket to get a place in line for a seat (ticket didn't guarantee a seat) and this way at least I got to go up front and take photos (though only for the first 5 minutes after which we were ushered out by the event staff) and I didn't have to wait in line for a seat. However, there was some bullshit with the planning and they originally told me there were no seats for photographers and that'd I'd have to leave after my 5 minutes were up. I told them that was kind of messed up because I had a ticket for the event and woulProxy-Connection: keep-alive Cache-Control: max-age=0 e waited for a seat had they told me 30 minutes earlier when I talked to them originally, so they let me sit in the back with the event staff which was cool, the performance was just as funny anywhere in the room.

Okay, now onto the past.

Sunday before last (the 1st) Ross and I went to the 81st Annual Austin Kite Festival. Getting there was a bitch but being there was really fun. Watching tons of kites fly is really relaxing.

Sadly, we couldn't get the 5$ kite I'd bought at Wal-Mart the night before to fly. During one attempt we got our string all tangled with some little boy's kite who's kite was flying just fine (we brought it down) and I felt super bad. After that we gave up and took to watching, which was the wiser choice anyway.

This pirate ship kite was tiiight.

This dog made the craziest noises. Instead of barking it was like he was doing some exotic bird call. At first people would be like omg vicious dog but then burst out laughing at how ridiculous it sounded. I found it hilarious :}

This poor girl had the same $5 kite we did and she couldn't get it up in the air either :{

Sunday was Austin's 81st annual kite festival, so we got to thinking how funny it'd be to see dapper young lads and lasses in the 20s flying kites. Well, Ross found a picture from the first kite festival:

Apparently the festival used to take place in "Lamar Park" which has been lost to the ages; no one knows where it was located.

I believe I also wanted to talk about the stupid NYC protest in which NYC students (and non students) occupied a school cafeteria to demand a number of things, first and foremost no discipline for their actions. Watching the video of their negotiations with the campus police just shows that they're lameasses who wanna be hippies in the 60s. I like when he goes through their bags to guess what might be confiscated and lists several macbooks, then makes jokes about the administration drinking "corporate water" and "not wanting clothes because they only wear suits" then he laughs at his own jokes.

It's important to note the cameraman/narrator of the video is not even an nYU student which explains why he doesn't want to show his NYU ID.

Also these protesters have a video of them piling tables against a door while "Time Warp" from Rocky Horror plays in the background which is just so tremendously lame I can't think f any other word for these people other than "douchebags".

I think the other thing I wanted to go over was Design talk.

This happened like a month ago, but anyway...We had these sketch-up projects in which we had to find a way to 'smooth space' between two boundaries. Mine was pretty simple, just a camcorder and a tv. The camera would record and the tv would play the footage from exactly 24 hours earlier. Riley asked the class if time was a boundary that could be smoothed. Some people argues yes and some said only with the past but not with the future. I'd have to agree with the both crowd though. When smoothing space with the past we can use images or video or text, but we cannot put the audience literally back in time to experience the event we're portraying. For smoothing space with the future we plan. We try to assemble our future by making appointments, to-do lists, and plans, so that we don't feel completely in the dark about what's to come. But still, we cannot transport to the future to experience the actual event, there's still uncertainty with planning. Soooo you can smooth space between both the past and the future but for both it's not a completely smooth transition. yay designphilosophy conversations! desosophy..philosign..

Also in the same class period Ayham showed this awesome movie-diagram which mapped the flights of the US over 24 hours.

Waaatch iiiit

It's cool. except for the part where it turns into moving blobs..that's pretty lame and doesn't communicate anything effectively imo, but then it goes back to be cool.

The flight pattern maps reminded me of the maps of Railroad tracks in the late 1800s we looked at in my history class. I like when my classes connect to each other..like during freshmen year when we talked about Tycho Brahe in my astronomy class, art history class, and czech culture class.

I guess not too much has changed in terms of population layout :p

Ok I might as well make this all one post...more recent design thangs :o

It seems like eeeveryone's rebranding these days. At first I wasn't really feeling the new Pepsi logo, but I must say, it's really growing on me. I thought their new commercial was fun and simple and they're new bottling for Pepsi Natural is gorgeous (weird adjective for a bottle right?)

So cleeean, I don't even like soda but this drink looks refreshing~

I also think I like the Jack in the Box rebrand, though I'm sure a lot of people won't. Oops! I spoiled the ending of the Jack is back commercial series of him in the hospital. The end is that the have a new logo.

The packaging makes it.

And I'll leave you with this. An artist in Britain made happy face clouds out of vegetable something or other and hydrogen and they floated around for 30 minutes before evaporating. The video is really cheery (I think) :)

http://www.designboom.com/weblog/cat/10/view/5553/happy-cloud-by-stuart-semple.html

all right I tink that's it. woo~ :}

30 foot tall dead things

2009-02-26T10:39:00.004-06:00

The pro-lifers have set up a 30 foot tall display of bloody mangled aborted fetuses right in front of Gregory, it was in front of east mall yesterday, but today it features more pictures, and a location i can see right after i step outside of Jester. I haven't bothered talking to the people that creep around the 'free speech boards' asking you your opinions so they can counter them and push their own onto you. I haven't written anything on the board either because no new points no one's heard a million times have been brought up, and I firmly believe if you have taken a stance, no one's going to convince you over to other side with some out-of-the-bag commentary. No matter I said to them they're not about to switch to pro-choice. No matter what they say to me, I'm not going to think abortion should be made illegal. But I do kinda wanna say what I think anyway, so I'll mumble it into the vacuum of the internet, where it won't annoy anyone unless they choose to read it.
First of all, let me say I believe their boards are a form of terrorism, and the graphic images should not be presented 30 feet tall in a public place. Yesterday I saw two different groups of elementary schoolers touring the campus, I didn't even know how babies were made when I was their age, seeing a 10 foot tall bloody fetus would've been pretty damn scarring.
The free speech boards reveal some pretty black and white opinions on the matter from the pro life crowd "KILLING BABIES" and such. Really that is the only arguement, that 1st trimester abortion is the same as killing a full grown adult.
No. it isn't.
Children, adults, whatever that has lived, breathed, and walked on this earth has effected the earth in some way. People have memories, experiences, friends, and family who they have left a mark on, which is why it is so painful when a human life is lost. I don't believe a fetus is a human life for this reason. A nine week old fetus, which is what many of their pictures depict, are effecting no one's life but the mother that is carrying it, unless the mother has told other people, but that fetus cannot possibly be leaving an effect on anyone but the mother. Once a child is born, they can be taken care of by other people, adoption ect. During pregnancy, no one can be responsible for the baby except the woman carrying it. It is inside her body. Pregnancy wreaks havoc on a woman's body, it prevents school and job performance, there are social stigmas attached to illegitimate pregnancies. Being forced to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term is cruel, and a woman who does not want to carry a baby will probably not be a responsible carrier of a fetus. The responsibility during that time cannot be handed off to another person. Imagine tomorrow you are given a human life to be 100% responsible for for the next 9 months. You cannot have help from anyone and they are with you 100% of the time. Would you be willing to take that responsibility? Maybe. Maybe you are such a giving person you'd be willing to completely sacrifice 9 months of your life for this person you have no connection at all with, and maybe through those 9 months you would establish a connection with the person. But, many many people would not be ready and willing to take this responsibility. They'd be resentful and most likely neglectful, if they thought this person was ruining their life, whether it be through suffering school work or job performance, social aspects, physical ramifications, or financial burdens. That's what illegal abortions would force many to go through. Illegal abortions would not create healthy, loved, cared for babies. The world has more than plenty of neglected, abandoned, starving children. Why not help the people already on earth instead of focusing on adding more to the problem?
But many pregnant woman wouldn't even begrudgingly take that responsibility. Abortions were common before they were legal, they were just much much more dangerous and often resulted in the loss of the mother's life as well. If abortions were to again become illegal, they would still keep happening, but many more woman would die through complications and botched abortions. Is this really better than what's happening now? More deaths would result, deaths of the fetus and of a woman who has time on earth to create memories, make connections with people, and leave a mark on the earth.
1 in 3 women will have an abortion in their lifetime. It is not an easy decision or experience to go through. It is not a 'form of birth control' where girls can recklessly have unprotected sex and not worry about any repercussions at all. It is a necessary procedure that saves hundreds of lives and prevents another life coming into this world unwanted and neglected.
Also, pro-choice does not mean pro-abortion. Pro-choice does not force women to have an abortion, pro-life forces women to remain pregnant. Each person should have the right to decide what's in their body and they way they want to live their life.

That's what i'd write on the wall ;p

back in session

2009-01-21T20:59:00.004-06:00

Spring 09 has started, and in case you haven't heard, a new president has taken office.
http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/01/the_inauguration_of_president.html
These pictures are absolutely amazing. It shows how not only America, but the entire world is united behind Obama, just who he is and what he stands for is inspiring millions of people.

I'm glad I'm back in classes, even though I've already got a ton of stuff to do and it's only post-day 2, I have things to do again! things to accomplish and complete. It feels good :)

A thing that's cool to look at:
http://www.blakegordon.com/stories/cloudprojections.html
Cloud projections from the lights of buildings in Austin, by Austin photographer Blake Gordan

I wanna keep track of the new places I've gone to in keeping with my feeble resolutions:
week 1 - Sandy's frozen yogurt
week 2 - rode in a cab(it counts)
week 3 - walked around East Austin a bit
week 4 - starts today ;}

watching the lost premiere now, it's sooo craaaazy

something i've learned

2009-01-07T17:37:00.003-06:00

if you want to meet guys, here's how:

1. go somewhere guys are drinking

2...that's it

Hey ho, inspiration

2009-01-05T19:11:00.008-06:00

I'm trying to keep up with my resolutions, the only ones I'm working on right now are drawing, cell phone, and being content. Doing terrible with the cellphone, doing well with the drawing beeecause i'm full of ideas and stuff. I spent a large chunk of yesterday drooling over art and design blogs.

Also yesterday I went to Barnes and Noble and traded in the photoshop tutorial book my mom got me for this:

And it's full of amazing, colorful, personality-filled pictures that I want to emulate.

Just a few images I liked from my blog searches:

Did you guys ever do "the penguin dance"(that's what my dad called it) with your parents when you were tiny? The name of this photo was 'dancing shoes' and it warmed my heart :}

neeat 3-d typography

remember my post about music and art? here's more ;D

maybe a bit outdated with ipod touch tic tac toe and shit out there, but still pretty :]

Saw this on conceptart and thought the coloring was gooorgeous.

There was a ton more, but i didnt want to overload my harddrive with pictures from blogs, but now i'm thinking i should just have a folder or something. Maaaybe I'll get up the non-laziness to scan my drawings later, we'll see.

New Year's

2009-01-01T16:04:00.002-06:00

Resolutions

-Loooooose weight
-eat healthier
-go to the gym at least 3 times a week (while at school)
-Keep track of my cell phone better so I won't see texts/calls many hours later
-Live a more interesting life
-Go somewhere new at least once a week
-travel(go to Prague :O)
-Keep my camera with me at all times
-Draw everyday
-Be better about keeping in touch with my friends
-Get to know the people I do know better
-Meet more people
-Read more
-Procrastinate less
-Learn to appreciate what I have, instead of pining after what I wish I had.

break!

2008-12-28T15:00:00.001-06:00

uuuugh christmas break sucks, i cant even imagine a more boring way to waste my life away.

A plea

2008-12-11T23:35:00.003-06:00

Dear Michael Phelps,

You are really really boring. You got your two weeks of sucking the fun out of the Olympics for all the other American swimmers, now why can't you leave everyone alone? Ok, I guess I would be trying to squeeze every penny out of the situation too if I were you, but come on. Could you at least try not taking away air time from otherwise good programs? You're just so bleh. Shuuut uuup.

Thanks!

Sincerely,
Alyssa

Now what do I do?

2008-12-11T22:06:00.002-06:00

Fall semester is oooover. Pretty much. I have one last final but it's not till Monday and who cares? Every project and essay is turned in and that's good enough for me. It's a huge relief buuut...now what? I have nothing to do and I just sat at home after my final today and did nothing. When I have things to do I wish I could do nothing but I have nothing to I wish there was something. Usually I'd go buy something to make something out of, but now I'm trying to conserve money. Speaking of money I doubt I'll get my job back for the break, there's only 2 weeks till Christmas shopping is over and everyone probably has their help already. I'll go talk to them tomorrow anyway. bleh i hate money

Have you ever stood in the middle of two TVs set on the same channel? it makes a really eerie effect on the audio.

I've been thinking about what life would be like if I didn't have a laptop or TV, or anything in my residence except a bed and bathroom. I'd be out of the house all time doing things. Life would probably be a lot more exciting, ecspecially if other people were in the same boat. You'd actually have to go do things to occupy your time, and as a result maybe meet people and shit. all the time. as is, I usually have a hard time tearing myself from my laptop because, whats the point? I can find entertainment, work on things, obsessively check facebook, talk to people, read pointless SA threads... but I like my laptop and don't really want to end up a dragrat, so i'll probably remain connected to my laptop.

One up about break is I get to play with my dog :3

she's super cute

If I had a million dollars

2008-11-28T21:30:00.005-06:00

I'd buy all this shit and a lot of clothes and stuff. Again! a few hours after the last, but I wanna make a wishlist of sweet kick knacks that I've been drooling over for like, an hour or two.

and soo much more D:

but really I'm probably asking for a nice peacoat or just some shopping money from my mom

headphones from ryan (really a birthday present...even though we weren't dating for my birthday or christmas) because he owes me.

and that's really all I need I guess.

Sometimes

2008-11-28T19:03:00.004-06:00

Sometimes I get this weird feeling, my heart starts racing even though I'm doing nothing, watching nothing, listening to nothing, reading nothing, thinking of nothing to illicit it. It's a nervous feeling, but not a bad way> I guess it's like an adrenaline rush, like if you were about to perform on stage or talk to someone you have a crush on. I wonder what causes it, maybe I just need to spend more energy, exercise more.

Speaking of which, I need to eat better, I've wanted to lose my flabbiness for aaaages, like since I noticed I was fat in the 7thgrade or so (I seriously thought that somehow, magically, the fat on my stomach would migrate into a nice pair of c cups or something when I was in elementary school). Realistically though, I won't eat right over Christmas break because, come on it's the holidays. I read through all my aunt's InStyle magazines last night trying to keep myself amused after thanksgiving dinner and now I have visions of fabulousness dancing in my head. I went shopping today (Black Friday aah) for myself and it wasn't so bad. I spent far too much money though (about $80 for 2 jackets, a shirt, and a pair of shoes..oh and a necklace i'll give my mom as a stocking stuffer)

The house is really quite lonely without my dad. I don't know how my mom does it, I know she's really sad and stressed but she keeps on trucking. I think she's really the strongest of us all. I'm going to get her a lot of Christmas gifts :p As soon as I get my job at PacSun back for the winter break. I had a weird dream the night before last, we were at another memorial service for my dad but this time it was in something like a high school cafeteria with the stage and fold-out chairs, there were a lot of people there and it was like a big production. The funeral home had somehow reanimated my dad's body so that he could walk around the memorial service and talk. He thanked all the production people, and I'm not sure if he was heading over to my family (we were in the middle of the auditorium space) and I was hoping he didn't because I knew it was really just a robot. In my dream I started thinking about what I would say when I had to get up to make a speech about my dad's life, the train of thought somehow continued into consciousness and I woke up already crying. aaand that was that

I applied for the Prague study abroad program today, I hope I can find enough money to go, I really want the experience, but first I need to wrap up this semester. It's stunning how much needs to get done in one week's time.

Oh and here's some media:

Robbie sent it to the design kids, I think it's a pretty nifty effect, I wonder what other falling things it could work on, I can't think of anything for real life, just movie application, but editting tricks would be easier to use than lighting.

Music and art

2008-11-18T23:01:00.002-06:00

Mk I know I just wrote something 2 hours ago but between now and then I went to go see the University Symphony Orchestra and it made me wanna type some things.

I had never seen an orchestra perform before, our school district only had bands so no one played string instruments or anything. Immediately all I could watch was the way all the violin bows rose and fell in unison and the way the cello players' bows were all angled and all their hands moved in the same way at the same time, like choreography. I was also wishing I had my camera again because the colors of the wood of the cellos and bass(es?) were really vivid and beautiful under the lights. I couldn't really concentrate on the music much :p Except for the third piece, a girl came on stage to perform as a solo violinist in a really pretty gown and she was amazing at the violin. It was interesting to watch her, as she played her whole body was full of passion and vigor, but when she had a rest and waited for the rest of the band to do their part she looked incredibly bored and apathetic, it was funny.

Back to the bows (I hope that's what they're called), I wonder if a piece has ever been composed based solely on the movements the bows would make with no real regard to the notes played, a dance with instruments. That reminds of an e-mail I got through the design list serve, it took me a while to find it but look at this-
http://showcase.thebluebus.nl/pages/848/ambigram-music.html
Mk and now that you've looked at that awesomeness, I was also reminded of our music lecture on Monday which consisted of experimental composers from the 50s. A lot of the people in my class haaated the works. I kind of enjoyed him. Our professor showed us, or had us perform or something John Cage's 4'33". He has a blank score with times at which the performer should turn the page and instructions on how to 'switch movements'. For anyone who isn't familiar, during 4 minutes and 33 seconds the person on stage sits at an insturment but doesn't play anything, making the audience become the performers, and their rustling/whispering/whatever the performance. It reminded me of Duchamp's urinal piece, which kind of pissed me off when I first heard about. "How could that be called art?

But now I've come to appreciate these things, if you have the balls to present something like that and people take it as art, kudos to you.

I do think John Cage's work was more performance art though, when in front of an audience. Also, he wrote a composistion for Duchamp. The whole lecture showed me what a nice tie in there can be through all the branches of art.

skip to about 4:50 to see the performance.

Also while I was looking for that I stumbled upon Salvador Dali videos. He had the best moustache.

It's a new week

2008-11-18T19:23:00.000-06:00

How come it seems like everyone else uses that black and green/blue, serif font layout on blogspot?

Anyway I think I promised drama and shenanigans for this post so here it goes.

Ok I know I promised friend drama, but I don't think it's very polite to put someone else's dirty laundry up for show on the internet and the thing has been resolved to the extent I care about it and I know that's very vague but it's regarding Ryan and Lindsey. I just don't care what they do so on to the next.

My dad's mom and sister (and cousins from said sister) did not come down to Texas for the memorial/funeral services. Starting Tuesday morning they did not answer their phones. They never called my mother, me, or my brother. My mom is understandably very mad and upset with them. She's not going to call them on the holidays and she doesn't want me to either. The last contact we had with them was my mom called my aunt to ask her for information on my dad's childhood for the obituary and told her she couldn't get a hold of my grandmother. My aunt responded with something like she must have took a sleeping pill, she should be up by now, I'll call her, and we never heard from them again. We heard from my grandfather (who did come down) that they wouldn't be coming because they "didn't want to see him dead". That's completely understandable. However, good family would still go support the other family members, even if they didn't want to attend the services. And at least call and talk to your son's children. Goddamn. I'm surprised at least Paul didn't talk to us in lieu of my grandmother, and I wonder if my aunt even told my cousins, because they're all old enough (older than me) to take the initiative and give us call. All my mother's side of the family was there except for my 2 cousins in New York, I was kind of embarrassed when people would ask "Is that Bob's mother?" and I'd have to tell them no, it was just our elderly neighbor, his mom had not bothered to leave Pennsylvania. They did send a flower/plant basket thing, but since it was signed Dad, Mom, Cindy, Jason, Marc, Shanna, we have a suspicion than my grandfather bought it. In any case, my mom left it out on the porch after the services and wouldn't bring it in the house.

It's hard to retell jokes or funny situations, especially in text my grandmother said something fabulously racist, basically comparing monkeys to black people which resulted in a good 5 minutes of laughter at the dinner table. I can't say too much though after my little incident last semester. To be fair though it was a damn fuzzy television and an old movie >:[

Blahblah thats it for now, everything's old news. I really need to start carrying my camera with me wherever I go. It seems like whenever I have my camera theres nothing worth shooting and when I don't have I see a bunch of things I wish I could capture. I'll start tomorrow with my adventures in conveying each chapter of Marcovaldo.

I wish I had a picture to post but I don't, but here's something from your childhood you may or may not remember, Amy brought it up in sculpture today.

This week's still this week

2008-11-14T22:15:00.000-06:00

A few days ago our house was filled with food. Food food and more food. People are still bringing us food, Michelle made an amazing dinner for us tonight and one of my mom's friends just brought over a breakfast casserole for tomorrow. But over the last couple days we managed to clean out the rest of the homemade meals between family and friends eating. So now our house is overflowing with flowers. I'd say about $1000 worth of flowers if not more. Even one of my design professors sent flowers when she heard the news, which is super sweet of her. Half my friends gave me flowers before dinner on Tuesday. We have all the flowers from the memorial/funeral services at our house now and I think we even got a basket arrangement via fedex this evening. Our living room smells like a garden but the flowers don't make me happy because I'm reminded why they're there. But then I remind myself they're also there because the people who sent them loved my dad and my family, so it's a mixed kind of feeling.

I don't like crying. People say it's supposed to make you feel better and its important to recovery, but I don't think so, I feel better if I can avoid it. Crying doesn't fix what's wrong and distracts from being happy aaand it makes my head hurt and my eyes puffy and it's just no good. Dustin told me yesterday that I'm very strong, but I don't think that's true. I just don't want to feel like I'm drawing attention to this situation to garner sympathy for myself. I'd rather deal with it on my own...what would anyone else do for me anyway? The thing I appreciate most is people not talking about it with me because I don't know what to say. I appreciate someone making me laugh. I love my family because we laugh a lot even if it's about stupid things. And sometimes I guess its a nervous reaction of mine to laugh in bad situations. This morning before following the casket down the aisle in the church i started crying and i didnt have a tissue so i got a new pack from my mom's purse and couldn't open it, so my grandmother took it from me to show me how to do it and she couldn't do it either and was being rather vocal about it which made me laugh, probably an inappropriate time but I don't think my dad would've minded. I've been thinking stuff like that a lot "If my dad saw this he'd say '___'". Like during the memorial they were playing the cheese-balliest music and I bet he'd have preferred a soundtrack of his favorite songs playing. Also my dad wasn't a very religious man and the priest's homily for his funeral was all about how my dad lived his life in Christ and was a good catholic man ect. but the priest didn't know my dad, it was probably a cookie cutter kind of sermon.

Being at church and also this whole thing has made think a lot about our, and my own beliefs about the after life. I believed in reincarnation and fate. Basically I believed that each soul had a pre-determined purpose and every action you take influences your life and those around you in a pre-determined way that all fits together for a greater purpose. And, if your fate takes more than one life to fulfill you'd be reincarnated to get closer to achieving your goal, and you'd go through the motions as many times as you were needed and then you could have eternal life in whatever awaits for us after that (a whole philosophy is a hard thing to flesh out). But after someone dies in our culture we like to think that they're watching over us from their place up in heaven with the Lord we believed in and stuff. And it's comforting that way, if they're watching us we don't have to give them up completely. They can still help guide us and be proud of us. It's certainly more comforting than their soul being whisked into another newborn baby, or simply vanishing into non-consciousness and non-existence, which is even more unsettling. (side note: I find the watching thing kind of creepy and unsettling unless they can only see what's happening when it's good like a wedding or whatnot, there certainly many things I do I wouldn't want my dad watching in on) So now I think I need to revise my little after death philosophy. I'm not claiming it's true or I'm right but religious and philosophical beliefs in the after life feel like they're purely for the comfort of the living, and my dad not being able to see me on my wedding, or see his grandchildren is not comforting. So maybe your soul gets a little breather before its reincarnated. Besides, I never considered the notion of soul mates before. If my mom and dad are soul mates and my dad's reborn right now but my mom lives on for 40 more years, then there would be a pretty big age gap eh? So maybe they wait around to be reincarnated at the same time if needed. haha, I'm so not a good philosopher, but I like that idea best.

So anyway, back to the crying thing. I hate it. I've been on the verge of crying many times and I have to stop and think about something else. So I don't think it's that I'm a strong person or whatever for not being an emotional wreck, I've just gotten very good at distracting myself. When I get that tingling feeling under me eyes and in my nose I just feel like I'm about to break, like glass falling to the ground and I have to catch myself. And during the memorial and funeral I tried to stop myself as soon as I could and I did all right except when I hugged my mom after the two. See, when I start crying it's like passing a point of no return and I'll be a mess for at least an hour.

Also on a note I thought of earlier, I hate hate hate the question "How're you doing" during times like these. I know people don't know what else to say but really what do you expect to respond with? If I told you I was a blubbering mess 23 hours out of the day what would anyone be able to say to make it better? And saying I'm all right or fine makes me feel like an emotionless rock. So I've been answering "well you know" which is still a bad answer because how do you respond to that either? People just nod or say yeah and I guess I prefer that anyway.

Jesus Christ this is a long post. I think I'll end it here and tell you about family shenanigans and family and friend drama in another post. It might be a good transition into everyday life again.

..

2008-11-12T02:44:00.000-06:00

My dad past away Sunday night. I found out Monday morning right after design. My mom called and told me "we" were at the clock tower and if they could come talk to me. I asked who "we" was and she told me herself, my brother, my aunt, and uncle. So I knew what was up. There was only one reason they would come, without my dad, to talk to me in person. If he were just in the hospital I would have only got a phone call, but my mom didn't want to tell me over the phone, so I had to wait 30 minutes while they found their way over to my dorm, hoping, praying I was wrong. But of course I wasn't.

I guess we're somewhat lucky. He was sick, we knew this would happen eventually, but....not so soon. My dad told me about a guy with almost the same condition, not nearly as complicated but still, who lived 20 years after his doctors gave him a 6 month lifespan estimate. At least he had the opportunity to prepare, to tell us what he wanted, I know he wrote each of us a letter I'm kind of anxious to read. It's not like he died of a heart attack or car crash completely unexpectedly, so in that regard, I feel a bit lucky, a bit thankful. Of course in those ways he wouldn't have suffered so much beforehand. That's what a lot of people have been saying..."at least he isn't suffering anymore". That's great and all, but I feel like my dad would have gone to the hospital every weekend just to keep watching me and my brother grow up. Saying it sucks doesn't even begin to scratch the surface, neither does just saying I'm going to miss him, but I will, more than anything. If anyone's reading this, go tell your parents you love them. Go see them a bit more often. Unless they're complete crap or something, or whatever you don't have to take orders from me.

One thing I hate the most about tragedies, is that they point out what it takes for people to come together or show they care about someone/thing. Like 9/11. Like this. I mean don't get me wrong, the outpouring of love and support from everyone - my mom's friend, my friends, my brother's friends, my father's friends - has been absolutely amazing and heart wrenching. But sitting at dinner today surrounded by friends, even ones I haven't talked to in months, I thought of how I wish we could be having the dinner under different, happier circumstances.

Yesterday my mom's friends came over while her and my aunt went to the funeral home. They cleaned the whole kitchen, even cleaning out the refrigerator. They brought and bought us food and tissues and stuff. We have I think 4 home cooked meals now from different people. People I haven't seen in years are coming to our house, giving us hugs, crying as well, it's a really warm, but depressing environment.

Ryan happened to be the first person from the CP group I spoke to about it. Basically he was telling me about his new tattoo and I just dropped the bomb. I have a hard time being discreet. My mom wanted me to call up all my friends to let them know what was going on and such but I wouldn't know how to start a conversation like that with so many people. So I decided to do it awkwardly once, and I asked him to tell everyone what was up. Instead of just telling everyone he organized a dinner with everyone who could come, and paid for my meal, even though we were at opposite ends of the table which was probably awkward for the waiter keeping track of things. It was me, Ryan, Lindsey, Emma, James, Laura, Sandi, Danni, Matt, Sara, Jared, Shaheen, and Blakesley. So all in all 12 people, and I can think of a few who weren't able to come because of work or Ryan couldn't contact them. I was really happy, I didn't actually realize I had so many friends, which sounds stupid, but who really ever sits down and counts, and how often will most of them be in one place to support only you? It's really amazing.

There's another thing. It took this to make me see how lucky I am. My dad was wonderful. My mom is wonderful. I really couldn't ask for a better family. I have my own room in a big house in a nice part of town where I got a good education. I'm going to University getting a degree in something I love and I'm not having to pay for it on my own or completely through loans. I have a huge network of friends who love and support me. My family has a huge network of friends that love and support us. We're really lucky, and I'm thankful.

That's it for now I think. There's a lot more to say, but it can be written later, this feels like something of a happy post, so it will stay that way.

things like this make me love the world more

2008-11-08T16:36:00.000-06:00

Life's been pretty normal. A few days ago I went to take pictures at Harvest Mandala - a food drive held by the Fine Arts Council and my 2-D professor and while nothing notable happened and no amazing pictures were taken, I wanted to share this because I thought it was super cute and warmed my heart.

They were laying on the south mall lawn looking at the clouds and debating over what their shape looked like . :] I want a guy who will identify cloud shapes with me on a sunny afternoon. But alas, I'm just going to have to keep dreaming for now.

I like looking at the sky, it's very peaceful and relaxing, so maybe that's why I thought it was so cool what those people were doing. I like noting the different shades it takes on each day and each hour through the day and how it gets framed between architecture and tree leaves and whatnot.

I'm weird ;p

Also, here's a piece of gloriousness everyone should know about, introduced to us at a design lecture by Nick Sherman

http://www.kaiju.com/

.

2008-11-06T01:13:00.000-06:00

I don't really know what to think about Ryan and Lindsey. On one hand I don't care that much, its none of my business now. But on the other hand, it's kind of shitty of friends to date friend's exs, and vise versa, and it's even shittier a couple of weeks after a break up (for both of them). And the quickness this happened, the fact they were talking a couple of weeks before me and Ryan broke up, I just wonder if Lindsey has any respect, care, or consideration for me. Maybe I'm just selfish, if they're happy who am I to complain?

Something New

2008-11-05T14:18:00.001-06:00

New blog new blog, let's see what happens!

Actually this has been up for a bit but I'm lazy and most of the details of my life I'd rather not have up on the internet. I won't bore you with who I am and what I do and like and shit... so maybe this blog will be just be a chronicle of cool design shit I see, or pictures I take or something. Whatever, no one will read it anyway.

So for my first post:

Fuck Yeah! New president!